What are your best qualities?
My favorite qualities about myself are my empathy and ambition - together, they have made me a force in the world. I am on a continuous journey of understanding and accepting others to make this world a better place. I also adore my freckles.
Do you have any undesirable qualities?
My worst quality is my tendency to harshly criticize myself. When I make a mistake or I don’t feel beautiful, I sometimes allow negative thoughts to affirm I am a failure, I am unworthy, or I am not beautiful. Over the past year or two, I’ve learned to counter these thoughts with the internal question, “would I speak to a friend this way?” Would I tell a friend they were not beautiful or a failure? Absolutely not. I’ve learned to internally address myself as I would a friend and that is where my positive self-talk has born.
What are your most afraid of right now?
I am terrified of having imposter syndrome. I am working diligently to become the best, most confident, brilliant version of myself as well as applying to graduate school and I sometimes fear I am lying to myself. Like I am making up a false reality of who I actually am just so I can get into grad school and appear to be that confident and collected. Nonetheless, I reassure myself every day that my potential has no boundaries and I deserve to be the best version of myself.
What do you love most about your body?
I love the way my body carries me without me consciously thinking about it - I value its reliability. Every day, no matter how I am feeling, my body will get up and do as I need without question. I love how amazing my body moves on a dance floor or in the gym. It took me so many years to value you my body for it’s ability and not base its value on appearance. Its ironic actually, I love the appearance of my body more now that I truly value its capabilities than before when all I focused on was its appearance.
What about yourself are you working on loving more?
I am working on loving my body type more. I have a shorter, athletic body which doesn’t always fit standards held by social media and other popular platforms. There are still moments where I doubt myself and the way I look because no matter how hard I try, I will never be long, leggy, nor a double zero. But this body is mine, it works for me every day, it attracts the right people for me, and it rocks the heck out of my favorite pair of jeans!
Tell us the story about your stretch marks and scars…
I had an eating disorder for a long time. My body experienced so many changes as my weight varied over the years. I was trying so hard to gain control over my life through manipulating my body that I lost all control and felt helpless. My support system saved me and I dove into practicing self-love like it was the oxygen I need. My stretch marks are not wounds. They are the medals I earned for surviving a journey that, at one point, seemed impossible. They remind me I am a survivor and that I can make it through anything.
What was your response when you first noticed your stretch marks?
When I first noticed my stretch marks, I didn’t know what they were or how they appeared on my body. My mom had to explain what they were to me. She assured me that all women, even some men, get stretch marks and I shouldn’t think twice about them. So, I never did. Thanks mom.
How did those around you make you feel about you getting stretch marks/scars?
I feel incredibly grateful I am surrounded by such compassionate women that no one has ever mentioned my stretch marks. However, I used to have extremely dark, course hair that appeared all over my body no matter how often I shaved. This was something I had been teased for since I was little and it wasn’t until college when my friends inspired me to love every bit of my body and that nothing about someone’s body defines their value. They reminded me that I would NEVER judge someone for their body so why was I doing it to myself?
Describe your journey with body acceptance...
I am still on my journey to full body acceptance. It took me years of educating myself, lending an ear to other people’s stories, and putting into practice the concepts I learned through these two experiences to finally understand that I was wrong - I wasn’t the only one feeling poorly about their body or thinking that changing it would make me more valuable. There’s a huge sense of relief that comes with knowing you’re not alone. It was also eye opening to realize the people I idolized and/or adored thought poorly of themselves when I thought the world of them. My journey to body acceptance has brought me to this conclusion: body acceptance comes not from loving your physical body, it comes from loving who you are as a person. Once you love who you are, the rest will follow and your body won’t be a gauge of your worth.
Do you practice self love as often as you want to?
I make self-love practices a priority. Meditating and journaling for me is just as important as eating your veggies and brushing your teeth. They are a part of my health routine. The best part, they only take about 5 minutes which means I can sneak them into my routine any time! Meditation apps, small journals, and quick workouts make self-care easy and life better.
What is one of your qualities you wish shined brighter than exterior appearance?
I wish my intelligence shined brighter than my appearance. I think at times, I get labeled before I can even reveal my true self because my appearance and/or my bubbly introductions categorize me into a certain bracket. People have commented they were surprised I was pursuing graduate school or "didn’t think I was so educated on certain topics” because of these certain attributes. These comments are difficult to shake but, I know how wildly capable I am and that on day, my successes will prove them wrong.
What lesson do you hope to instill to your children about self-love & body acceptance?
I was raised without the influence of gender. My parents focused on raising us to be morally good and live adventurous lives. We weren’t influenced to be more feminine or masculine, just capable and worthy. It made me a well-rounded person - I could play sports and fish as easy as I could curl my hair and flirt. I am beyond blessed to have parents who raised me with these values and I hope to raise my children the same way.
What makes the happiest in the world?
Traveling with the people I love the most makes me the happiest in the world. The memories I have being in some of the most beautiful places in the world with people that make me belly laugh till I cry, those are memories that have formed my future goals around living those moments again and again.
How can women improve how we interact with each other?
Women need to stop competing with one another. Stop comparing themselves to one another. And please, stop gossiping about one another. We are all on the same team, we all want to be valued by each other, by our sweethearts, and those around us. Comparison is the left of joy, work on being the best version of yourself by emulating things you love about other women. Not tearing them down for being what you “wish” you had. Emulate and appreciate.befriend that person. Do not put yourself above anyone and tear others down for wanting what you might have, befriend those people too. We all have insecurities we wish to cure and creating a cycle of kindness to one another is the best remedy for this epidemic of confidence issues.
What is something you wish you could have told yourself at your most fragile state?
There are moments where I visit my younger self in my thoughts or meditations and she is absolutely in awe of the woman she gets to become. She says, “no way, I am smart enough to get my Ph.D.?!” or “I can’t believe I get to have that many amazing friends” or “I can’t wait to have as much style as you.” I tell her to be patient, she’s gaining the experience necessary to get to where she wants to be, and I remind her how incredibly capable and beautiful she is and that everything works out for her in the end.
What is the best compliment you've ever received?
Best compliment I ever received was when my mentor revealed to me how the world saw me versus how I saw myself. The compliment was so emotionally touching, I cried. I now make more of an effort to tell people the little things I love about them that others might not notice because of the amazing effect it could have on their growth and confidence.
