What are your best qualities?
I love my heart for service. I love that I am optimistic and always looking on the bright side even during the toughest of times. I love that I am a team-player and do my best to get along with all different kinds of people. I love that I go above and beyond for others.
Do you have any undesirable qualities?
I’m so self-critical. I am truly my worst enemy and sometimes I let my own doubts and fears limit my potential.
What are your most afraid of right now?
I’m afraid of never being good enough. Even worse, I’m afraid that my fear of never being good enough will only hurt me in the future.
What do you love most about your body?
I love my curves and my thickness.
What about yourself are you working on loving more?
I’m working on loving my tummy more and embracing my thickness.
Tell us the story about your stretch marks and scars…
When I went away to college, I started gaining weight rapidly. I wasn’t as active as I was in high school because I was no longer playing year-round sports and I started to develop an unhealthy relationship with food. I started gaining most of my weight in my stomach area and that is when the stretch marks started popping up. I was a bit shocked when I looked in the mirror one day and saw all of these marks on my stomach. I tried diet after diet trying to lose weight so that the stretch marks would go away...even spent hours at a time in the gym trying to shed the weight. This was a draining time in my life because I wanted my body to go back to how it was when I was a teenager. Looking back now, I am in a much better mind set. I know that my stretch marks may not always be accepted by others, but they are mine and a part of who I am. I love my stretch marks.
What was your response when you first noticed your stretch marks?
At first I was discouraged. I was always taught that a beautiful body was a perfect one. But now, I know there is no such thing as a perfect body and I am learning to embrace my strength marks because they are a part of me and my journey.
How did those around you make you feel about you getting stretch marks/scars?
Honestly, I didn’t have a lot of support. When I started to grow into my body, I would often get comments about how I looked “different” or I “changed.” It hurt to receive such negative/passive feedback about my weight and stretch marks, but I am proud to wear them because they have been with me through all of my struggles.
Describe your journey with body acceptance...
When I was in 1st grade, it was the first time I stepped on a weight scale and realized for the first time I was overweight. I was only 6 years old when I started hating my body. It didn’t help that social media became popular soon after and I was constantly bombarded with flawless models that were supposed to represent the epitome of beauty. I thought to myself that I will never amount and accepted that I would never be model material. It wasn’t until recently that I started to see a better representation of thick women in the media.
What is one of your qualities you wish shined brighter than exterior appearance?
My confidence. On the inside, I know that I am an awesome person, but oftentimes I feel insecure because I feel like people are always judging me by how I look on the outside. It’s hard to be vulnerable when you don’t feel like you’re in a safe space.
What about self-love are you continuing to work on?
I’m continuing to work on being kind to myself and stopping negative self-talk. I’m also working on being able to say no when I need rest or need time alone.
What lesson do you hope to instill to your children about self-love & body acceptance?
I don’t ever want my children to think they need to be skinny and flawless in order to be beautiful or accepted. I want my future children to understand that beauty comes from within and one’s character. I don’t ever want them to feel less than because they don’t look a certain way.